I NEED A NEW PLAN

One of the few good things about working for a large corporation is that we are given access to expert financial tools and the best of financial planners. And this is a free service, I might add! I am amazed that so few employees take advantage of this service because of the value and because of the price. I have been told that most people spend more time thinking about what they will eat for supper this week or more time watching TV in a single day than they do planning for their retirement. Most people just think they when they retire there will just be plenty of money to live out their sunset years.

Some people don't worry because they expect to win the lottery! Some people pray for the perfect accident at a Wal-Mart and the massive payout from a retirement law suit! Others just expect the "government" will gladly take care of them.

Not me! I'm a planner and have been for years. I learned about the magic of compound interest years ago and have forced my wife to "get involved" with this process also. We have traditional IRA's, SEP IRA's, a 401(k), a 403(b), teachers' retirement, real estate and a company pension. So as I draw closer to my retirement days, I decided to take full advantage of the financial planning services that are offered by my company.


I picked up the phone and dialed the financial services company that my company has retained for the employees. The very knowledgeable, pleasant and helpful young man on the other end of the phone seemed to take an inordinate amount of time with me! I was shocked by this since everyone else tries to get you off the phone as quickly as possible. He informed me that he had the time to do a thorough job because so few people take advantage of this service. I answered a list of questions about my future objectives ... when do I wish to retire, how much money will my wife and I need per year in this projected retirement and what investment vehicles we would like to use (based on our investment risk philosophy) to get us there? We conversed for about an hour and he took my phone numbers and email address for follow up.

About 2 weeks have passed since this phone call took place, but as promised, the gentleman called me back today!

He told me that based on the information I submitted for my retirement plan, my wife and I would be completely out of money by age 74!

This evening I gave my wife the news ... our retirement plans are in great shape ... I just have to die before age 74! This retirement plan sucks! I either need to get another financial planning company or find a good "government program" to take care of me.

It raining outside tonight; maybe I'll go to Wal-Mart and slip down in a slippery aisle!

Or I could go to a doctor I've heard about! A patient came to this doc and was given 6 months to live. During this time he didn't pay a dime on his bill. When he returned for a final visit, the doctor gave him 6 more months!

I really have to go now. They're having the "Power-Ball" drawing tonight.