AWAY FROM THE CITY

My wife and I invited some friends of ours for a week-end at our mountain house. Although they are not new to the mountains, they had not been introduced properly to Bryson City, North Carolina. Dave and Vicky and their 2 little girls, Ella and Jenna, were a delight to be around and we were blessed with absolutely perfect weather. It was cold enough both nights (mid 30's) to build a fire and the girls loved it. We watched football on TV, grilled steaks, drank wine and later made hot chocolate. The girls even roasted marshmellows over the fire.


Also, as always, we slept. The quiet and solitude of the mountain night is heaven-sent for slumber.


After a good night's sleep and a hearty breakfast with lots of coffee, it is only fitting to go for a hike. During our hikes, we talked about how so many people don't even know that places like this exist. Some people never get away from the city and I am sure they would flip-out in all of this solitude. Like the song by Mac McAnally says: "all this proximity blows their minds, now they're shootin' one another just to pass the time"! We need the quiet and majesty of the mountains. I soothes the soul.

I just wanted to share a few photos from our hike on a trail off the "road to nowhere". If you ever get to Bryson City, just ask. The drive is beautiful.



Enjoy.

IT NEEDS TO BE SAID

My next birthday I will be 55 years old! It seems like just a few evenings ago that my wife had a surprise 40th birthday party for me, but when I look in the mirror every morning, reality sets in - I am reaching "maturity"! When one reaches this level of "maturity", one gets the right to make decisions about how he or she will spend their few week-ends left on this earth because this off-time becomes more precious. Week-ends are the time to enjoy the mountain house or a good SEC football game in the fall while relaxing on that special sofa. Some people love to fish or work in the garden. Others enjoy chasing a golf ball around a well-manicured cow pasture. There are others who must do all of their grocery shopping and errand running on week-ends because of the tyranny of their work schedules, but NOBODY enjoys going to weddings. They are usually scheduled right dab in the middle of a Saturday afternoon so that invitees cannot do anything before or after the ceremony. The week-end is ruined. Weddings are for the bride's mother! Family members and close personal friends should attend but PLEASE leave others out of this fandango. These words should bring silent cheers from those timid souls who would never broach this subject and that is why I have taken it upon myself to open this can of worms.

Firstly, there is not a snowman's chance in hell that the marriage will last! Most people today in America are practical atheists so if one does not believe that marriage serves something bigger than self, should we be surprised at the divorce rate. I have read that the divorce rate among Christians is just as high as among unbelievers, so would not a week-end be better spent shopping, fishing, playing golf or enjoying an adult beverage on the porch of a mountain house. In the 2 or 3 years right after I graduated from college, I was in about 20 weddings and had to rent a tux for each one. Today, I think about 1 or 2 of those couples are still married (to the same person anyway)! Do the math - that's 20 wasted week-ends in 2 or 3 short years.

Recently, I had the opportunity to sit down with my long-time buddy, confidant and mentor Mr. Ben Folk. I sought out his counsel on this subject because even during our time in college he was noted for his expertise in social discourse and was also noted for his innate grasp of the intricacies of the social graces. We even went as far as to place a call to the Captain of Charisma, Mr. Schuyler Floyd of Nashville, Tennessee. After hours of deliberation, we came up with a solution to this problem that people are too ashamed to discuss.

Since the wedding ceremony is for the bride's mother, the rest of the family should support this mother in her time of grief. This is why we decided, therefore, that only family members and extremely close personal friends should be invited. If it is absolutely necessary ( in rare circumstances) that others must be forced to attend, we suggest that the ceremony be planned for a Tuesday or Wednesday morning around the hour of 10 AM. This would give these unfortunate souls a valid excuse for regretting that they would not be able to attend, since most people (except Democrats) are at work on Tuesday and Wednesday morning at 10 AM. Also, we discovered that there is usually no problem whatsoever in securing that special chapel or auditorium for a week-day since most people get married on week-ends. Check this out for yourself and you will discover that popular places are booked for months in advance - but not on week-days. Airfares are also much less expensive if you look for late-night departures on week days.

So, there you have it. My friends, Ben Folk and Schuyler Floyd have done it again. They have taken a very complex issue and have come up with a simple solution. It is really this simple ... get married on Tuesday or Wednesday morning and catch a cheap flight out of town late that night for the honeymoon. And please - leave your friends alone! Ben Folk even suggested that there could be an "opt-out" clause in the invitation whereby invitees could simply send a check for $25.00 or have it charged to a credit card of their choice and in return for this fee, there would be no grudges held against the invitee for not attending. Do the math again ... $25.00 per invitee could really add up!

This needed to be said and I am happy to take up the torch for this cause! The truth is that you could have written this just as easily as me, but you are just too timid. We all know that you hate weddings also.

So the next time someone tells my wife that their son or daughter is getting married ( unless they are a family member or close personal friend), my wife knows exactly how to respond: "I would love to attend but my husband no longer attends weddings"!

You don't have to thank me. I just felt that I needed to do something for the betterment of mankind.

You are welcome!

Higher Education

I attended the University of Georgia from 1970 thru 1975! During this time I saw the Great Streak Week and a whole lot of partying - students displaying their best efforts to fill the time between classes. When football season rolled around, the partying went into high gear. Every fraternity had bands and beer. Sometimes we would have a big party on Friday night and then again on Saturday night after the Dawgs played in Sanford Stadium. This was about the time I was introduced to the art of Tailgating. Often my parents would come to a game with friends and would bring lots of food and drink (non-alcoholic). This would be our time to "visit" and afterwards we would head to the stadium and smuggle in our beverage of the day (alcoholic)! Of course ( as all UGA alumni know), tailgating has now been declared illegal at UGA by president Michael Adams. The University of Georgia will not tolerate those who smoke, dip, drink or chew or those who hang around with girls that do! Period! It is illegal to have fun on the University of Georgia campus! They are hell-bent on converting UGA to a Harvard-type, ivy-league school. ( I might point out that the CEO of soon to be defunct Bristol Labs is a Harvard graduate and is generally known, by all their employees, as the biggest dumb-ass who ever lived - so much for being a Harvard grad). The University of Georgia will not tolerate any behavior other than that which is politically correct. Those who drink will not be tolerated, because is is not PC to wander back to one's tailgage after a Dawg's victory while yelling, "How 'bout them Dawgs"!

This past week-end (September 30th, 2006), I attended a Tailgating Bonanza at Oxford, Mississippi. The event was the UGA - Ole Miss game. ESPN decided to make it a late game (9 pm) so the tailgating lasted about 9 hours for most of the attendees. If you have never been to the Grove on a football Saturday, then your life is not complete. If you live in the South, it is an absolute necessity that you attend one of these events at some point before you "check-out" of life's hotel. Tailgating and Fun are perfectly legal at Ole Miss - fans are encouraged to have fun and they did!

Here is some of what you missed!

Beautiful Southern girls! As my friend and mentor, Tom Lanier, explained to me ... "Miss Americas have to be red-shirted on this campus"! These ladies are not just dressed up but I'm talking DRESSED UP ... high heels and all.

Tents as far as the eye can see! Full of food and beverage and people! People having fun!

Kids (friends of my son) who say "Yes M'am and No M'am" and guys wearing blazers and bow-ties.

A school spirit that is second to none ( even though their team is struggling). These folks were a blast to be around.

I did notice a lot of Georgia people in the Grove and this made the crowd far too large for the area, but one has to remember that UGA folks are starved for our old way of life and we thank all the Ole Miss folks who let us participate.

My friend, Dr. Tom Bevill and his wife Mary Jane, who hosted (along with their son, Ben) the best tailgate in the Grove. We had plenty of grilled turkey, roasted pork tenderloin, fried chicken, ham and cheese sandwiches, desserts, liquid refreshments, seating and even a television to watch the action of other college football games. The Bevills even invited us over to his son's home in Oxford on Friday night and grilled steaks (with all the trimmings) for about forty people. The Bevills literally worked themselves to death to insure that all would have a good time. They even went to the Grove in the middle of the night Friday to set up the tents. They were the GREATEST hosts one could imagine! No wonder our son has adopted them as his second set of parents!

Our son, Mitch, is in his third year at Ole Miss and lives in a brand, spanking new fraternity house that rivals ANY fraternity house on any campus in America! He is so proud to be at Ole Miss and to be a brother in the ATO fraternity. He doesn't just walk around campus - he bounces! His face beems when he introduces his friends to his mother and me! Of all the sights of the week-end, the greatest was the sight of our son becoming a man. His mom and I were absolutely blown away by how much he has matured. It is amazing what two years of college can do for a young man!

I hope he never allows school to interfere with his education!

Seeing your child so full of the joy of living makes it all worth it!

Go Rebels!