Obituaries

I recently read in the opinion pages of the Asheville, NC paper a little article about obituaries and the interesting "facts" one can find in them. Carol Currie pointed out several things that make them so interesting to those of us who are moving on in age.

My mother-in-law LOVES reading obituaries! She subscribes to and reads six newspapers and then listens to the death reports on the local radio station. For a while, I sorta giggled at her, but now I have found myself thumbing through any newspaper I can get my hands on with some sense of macabre excitement to read all the details. Hanging around my mother-in-law for the past 17 years has even caused me to change my greeting to friends and co-workers that I see daily. "How are you?", they ask? "Well, I checked the obituaries this morning and mine wasn't there, so I guess I'm doing OK!"

Just a few years ago, obituaries used a somewhat standard format, but things have changed. An old friend of mine died a few months ago and his widow wrote an essay about him. I realized that I didn't know him as well as I should.

Some are short and to the point: "John Doe died at his home Thursday and arrangements are being made by "Digs, Graves and Bury Funeral Home".

Some folks pass away, some just pass, some are deceased and some have gone to be with the Lord. Some are in a better place???? ( I reckon that depends on where you were to begin with)! "We lost Grandma last week" someone said. I was wondering if they had been at a big sale at a Super WalMart ... I could certainly understand how Grandma could get lost there. "No", they exclaim. "She was sleeping in her bed and I went to get something to eat and when I got back ... she was GONE"! "Surely someone could find her if she is just wandering around", I thought! THE TRUTH IS THAT SHE IS DEAD! DEAD AS A HAMMER! But folks cannot bring themselves to say or write the word ... dead!

Some obituaries list the several churches where the deceased served his fellow man for years. "He was a member of Bedside Baptist Church for 40 years and served as a deacon for 30 of those years"! (sounds like the preacher found his liquor cabinet and fired him)! Some folks are religious but just nominally .... "He was a Methodist"! What does that mean? He was like the kamikazi pilot in WWII who went on 10 missions ... he was involved but not very committed! I pity the poor soul that has no preacher to direct the funeral service.

One has been employed by Williard's Widget Company for 45 years and was a "fixture in the community". Some are listed by trade ... "He was a carpenter."

The age is always listed ... "John Smith, 55, passed away suddenly at his home Saturday". What troubles me is when you see a picture of a young person and an age listed of 16 or 17. If the obituary tells us that a young person died, it should be a law that the cause of death be listed also.

Today, web sites are listed where friends can go to and leave their condolences ... it is a lot of trouble to take a shower, get dressed and actually go to a funeral home.

Some obituaries give thanks to the doctors and nurses at the hospital that gave such tender care. Some thank all of their friends who "gave so much of themselves during our time struggle"!

Well, now you see. My mother-in-law has caused me to get addicted also. With all of the nasty politics that fill the editorial pages today, the obituary section is a welcome respite in a world gone mad.

We are really hard-up for something to do.

God help us all.